I was going to succeed. The funny thing is i have had the same thought pattern for 5 years comments like “ this year is different”, “I will be better than all the other years”
funnily enough this year has been different, but it has been a hard slog.
Step one : I joined the gym
Step two: GO
Step three: keep going
What i have learnt in the last 6 months is i cant do this alone and i am good at making excuses. things like :
- Im too busy
- I was sick
- Im too sore
- I just couldnt get there
- Its not my fault i ate the cake, it was a birthday party
- They made me have a beer
- It was raining
To be honest i was 60 per cent committed . When i talked to the trainers they were giving me a hundred reasons why i wasn't losing weight, maybe it was my food intake, in which i replied “ nope that has been great, I'm doing really well” and in my head i was saying “except for last nights takeaways and the wine i consumed on Friday, oh and those donuts the other day, oh and the lunches at cafes everyday”
Its taking the time to actually listen to yourself, the excuses you make and they were flying out of my mouth before i have time to even think what i was saying.
I came to realise i needed help, so i hired a personal trianer. I even think i chose my Pt because i thought i could push her over, make her bend to my will and at the start i guess i was winning. I started to use those famous excuses that came so naturally to me.
Then one day she told me she was on the verge of Firing me! ME ! I couldn't believe it, how could anyone even think of firing me, i mean dosent she know who i was! I have thousands of followers! people love me! ( lets hear it Pauline.....blah blah blah)
I was so blown away ! She said “ Im not wasting my time when your not putting in the effort, i dont want to hear all your excuses! Buck up or ship out was what she was basically saying!
I went home pissed, no one in their right mind would even think about firing me, i pay her to put up with my shit!
Anyway after a day of being mad i realised that she was right, why should she put up with me when i am not even putting in the effort she is. Why should she pull me along unwillingly and what am i doing! I am
Why waste all this money if i am not committed.
Once the realisation came something clicked and i think i changed my focus and everything has been easier because i have committed to my commitment. dont get me wrong there are a few excuses popping out but i am going to the gym everyday and if i miss a day i make it up.
so watch this space................. this week i have been working on running (yes me ) and today i ran 7 minutes! (yes i ran, i know, totally insane)