The ride started out ok until we hit the country road where we were hit with a head on wind. I can tell you now i have a instant hate for the wind, you feel like you are peddling but getting nowhere.
We just went slowly, chipping at the k's. I was struggling a little with the hills as i am still getting used to my new bike, it doesnt have the low gears like the mountain bike (which i love).
I got just outside of Helensville where i was nearing the top of a huge hill and slide out on some gravel, falling head first onto the road, where are car was passing, 5cm closer i would of been dead. My bikes handle bars went south and my legs are grazed and very blue from bruising.
I had to continue at that point as i was a kilometre behind hubby and i had to catch up with him to tell him i fell.
We continued on but i was seriously struggling, at that point all i could think about was "just keep turning, just keep turning" i must of said it a million times.
We stopped in helensville for a snack... i lay down and made hubby stretch my legs, it would of been a sight to see.
We headed off on our way to Kumeu where the wind got stronger and then it started to rain..... when i past woodhill turn off i think i lost the plot and started to cry.
We got to the Muiawai turn off and i decided that i could go no further, my knee had started to swell and thats about when i started to cry. Husband just looked at me bemused, not sure he understood why i was crying, he was so proud of me when all i could see was failure.
I had failed to meet my mark. I felt that i had let myself down.
This morning i woke up with a different outlook, (after lots of thinking and talking with hubby in the night) i realised i just made myself a starting point and next time i ride the same circuit i am to better myself.
Thanks for reading.
Being a single parent is usually not a choice you make; it is a choice that can be forced on you.
My parents spilt up when i was young and the mistakes my parents made i swore i would never make. They hurt each other with their bickering and name calling, and it only ever hurt us kids.
When i became a single parent i made a promise that i would NEVER say a bad word about my daughters father. I swore that i would make sure that we were a family unit, or as close as we could be.
This included (while my daughter was young) having family holidays together, talking each week on phone to discuss week events and always including her father in conversations.
I always told my daughter about her father’s good traits, always told the funny stories of what we got up too. Even though we as a couple didn’t work out, there were a lot of things we did together.
As a couple you were in love once, telling stories about your life before children helps them feel grounded and connected to you both.
Of course i know not everyone can do this due to all sorts of circumstances. Just always remember your child knows they are part of you both so if you bag their father essentially you are bagging them.
Make a rule and stick by it.
These were mine ( i hope they help )
1. Never say bad things about him in ear shot of child
2. Always talk about the good times
3. Weekly updates, Sunday at 7pm
4. Never stand in the way of him seeing child
5. Your child is the most important, always be accommodating and negotiate
6. Include him in your life, invite him to all child events.
So after my little spaz out yesterday. I got back to my desk after lunch to find alot of emails from friends, family and people i know in the virtual world all telling me how i just need to snap put of it and to keep up the good work.
I think i just had over done it and i was mentally tired as well as physically tired.
I had planned to go for a bike ride but changed plans and headed to the gym with a friend and it was a good work out. I pushed myself and felt great afterwards.
What i have come to realise is that i have taken years and years to put on this weight, even though it has creeped on slowly, i have to accept that it is going to creep OFF slowly... as most of you know i am not a very patient person! I have the tendency to want things NOW!
So with that in mind i just have to keep going. This is a life style change.
I made this commitment to get myself moving and i am doing that, but at the end of the day my journey doesn't end on Nov 26th, this is only the beginning.
To date i have lost 19 kilos.
This week i have a challenge to do over 1000 skips, last night i did 500. I remember when my daughter brought her skipping rope home and i gave it a go, i swear i couldnt do 20 without sweating and breathing like Darth Vader!
Look at me now!
Well i can tell you i am over training, over exercising. It feels like that's all i do..... and when i am not training i am in pain.......... no pain no gain right?
The massive task i have set myself is starting to dawn on me the closer i get, and i am seriously freaking out.
There just aren't enough hours in a day to get everything i need done.
I have tried hard not to complain online (though i complain to my personal trainer Non stop) but crying out loud........i hurt!
I wont stop training, i will keep going............... but i am finding it hard.
The last few months have been an emotional roller-coaster, i have had a lot to deal with and through it all i have managed to keep training.
I am proud of my efforts so far, though some times i feel like i am not doing enough.
I have 5 weeks of training left..........
I made a comment of facebook and twitter recently
“No one can tell you who you are......... Dont let anyone put you in a box........ you are who you want to be.. just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and be that person who you are destined to be.”
A few people asked me how are they to know who they are destined to be and when will they find out.
I started to think about this, i know when i was younger i would write in my diary asking for things like, to be thinner, rich and to be somebody. I am only one of those things and it is HAPPY.
I have learnt over time that being somebody or being destined to be something can be everything and anything that means something to you.
I don’t want to be Rich, don’t get me wrong money is nice but when i had lots of it, i was never happy, and i found i wasn’t as creative. I just ended up buying more stuff, stuff i didn’t need.
I figured out my destiny was small and simple.
To help enrich childrens lives. Through fun, creativity and knowledge. I do this every day. I don’t need thousands of children, i have my treehut children. I makes sure everyday i enrich their lifes, some days it can be as small as laughter, others it can be that i taught them how to shade an apple.
Your destiny can be as simple as “ Being the best Mother or grandmother you can”
All you have to do is find something you love and do it. You don’t have to produce anything massive or be anything huge.
To many people think success has to be huge, but it doesn’t. Being successful is being who you are, having fun doing it.
Just because we get to an older age doesn’t mean we as people should stop learning, as i always say ‘knowledge is power’ and if you want to make a change in your life, do the research, get out a book and learn, then explore and then DO.
These are just my thoughts on the subject..........
 So here we are 9 months down the track.
In January i had ONE Goal and that was to lose weight. 9 Months later i am still going strong, if not stronger.
I have been 80 per cent focused most of the year but stepped it up to a 100 per cent maybe 2 months ago. The Lake Taupo Bike Challenege was getting closer and i had to step it up, mostly because of the purchase of my bike. I decided earlier in the year that i was going to do the relay and accomplish 40k.
At the time i thought it was a HUGE number and didn't think i could ever bike that far. Well with all the training throughout the year 40 k's will be a breeze in the park. :-)
So when i was confronted with my team disintegrating due to team members work commitments i was surprised that i didn't take the opportunity to just back out. The old Pauline would of been "Well that's that!" The perfect excuse "My team failed me" No No no what did i then do.................I decided i would then pull my Husband into the mix and make him relay with me and do 80k.
Well what a can of worms i opened. Hubby smiled, took up the challenge and then ran past me! Bloody Husbands! My darling husband is addicted to riding his NEW bike and now i am having to try to catch up with him and not only that, he has decided that we can accomplish the 160k's!!!
So my small little goal of 40ks, has now turned into me doing the WHOLE bliemen race!
And all i can think is BRING IT ON!!!
What also has been great about this challenge is how it has progressed, at the beginning it was just me working out and now Hubby and Miss 12 are right along beside me. We are riding out together and it has brought us closer as a family. You seriously cannot get better than that.
So people put Nov 26th aside and come on down to Taupo and support me, cause i am going to need it!
This week there has been alot of talk in the media about child abuse. This is a subject that gets my blood boiling because it is something that fundamentally shouldn't be a problem in this day an age.People beating and misusing children should NOT HAPPEN! Violence is never the answer but to inflict any sort of pain to an innocent child is unforgivable. There needs to be harder penalties and people need to stand up and speak out. There are people in the community who must see or hear when these things occur. Families need to break the silence and stop being ashamed and just STAND UP for the child.No child deserves to live in an environment of fear, to be beaten, tortured... no child!So what the HELL are we going to do about it? There was an article just recently from the Coroner from Nia Glassies death and he stated the case was "chilling" and the most horrendous in his 19 years as a coroner.He said Nia's mother Lisa Kuka had previously come to the attention of authorities and had the family been monitored Nia could have been saved.
"Had there been adequate steps in place and checks carried out then leaving Nia in the day-to-day care of young males would have been nipped in the bud at an early stage," he said.
Vulnerable children were falling through the cracks, Dr Bain said.
The coroner recommends there be state intervention and monitoring of children in single parent homes where the family have previously come to the attention of authorities, where a mother works fulltime and others care for the children and where domestic or child violence has been identified.
Dr Bain is also calling for all solo parents on a benefit to be monitored and overseen to ensure the safety of children in their care.
The last two lines really got my back up as i used to be a Single parent on a benefit and to have to defend myself to Winz would be just demoralizing. So at the end of this we still have that question: What do we do to save New Zealand's children from being hurt and killed by New Zealanders?________________________________________________________________________On September 3rd all over New Zealand, people are standing up to remember all the children that have be lost to violence. Will you stand up too?
Become a fan of Stop Death by abuse of our children's Facebook page and help a Nation To save their children!http://www.facebook.com/pages/STOP-Death-by-Abuse-of-our-Children/166417770086797
 As parents we can help our children . Most children at schools get homework some schools give more than others. its usually reading, maths worksheet or some schools work out of a school homework book.
Homework for many years was a thorn in my side. To be honest i used to dread it when after a long day at work, i had cooked dinner and then i went to sit down and relax and my daughter would then need help with her homework. To me it used to feel like another chore.
It wasnt even as if she had heaps of homework, it usually was one section of her homework book.
My daughter would get do a topic each week. For the first few months we didn't have any problems but as time went on it really became a struggle to get her to even sit down to do the work book.
I was at a wits end how to help her. It was almost a battle of wills and at that time of night, we both usually ended up frustrated and MAD.
Then my daughters last year at her primary school the teacher changed tactics and gave the children little projects to do by using the alphabet i.e A = aeroplanes and the children had to research aeroplanes or what ever A thing they chose. Suddenly my daughter was searching every Monday for something that would represent her Alphabet. She was inspired and it showed in her commitment to work.
IT was such a dramatic change that i got mad with myself for not seeing the real reason why she wasnt doing her homework. it was too boring. It just didn't stimulate her or inspire her into committing to the process.
Something i do with the treehut children all the time, i teach them in a way that will inspire them to want to learn about the subject.
So here i was fighting with my own daughter who just couldn't connect with a book, with no colour and all words, words, words.
One thing i learnt was that homework became a chore and not an adventure of learning.
As parents we can decide which way to attack the homework situation, we could quickly get it out of the way so we can spend the rest of the evening in front of the tv, or we could truly engage, search for answers and be there for your child. No one else is going to put in the time with your child, so why wouldn't you.
Homework now has become a family activity. We sit down and work through the problems, we do the research, ask questions, revise and study. It has become fun and my daughter has improved so much. She is now actively looking for answers to things she doesn't know. Our motto : knowledge is power.
When i started out with my goal at the beginning of the year i was adamant that this year was going to be the one! I was going to succeed. The funny thing is i have had the same thought pattern for 5 years comments like “ this year is different”, “I will be better than all the other years” funnily enough this year has been different, but it has been a hard slog. Step one : I joined the gym Step two: GO Step three: keep going What i have learnt in the last 6 months is i cant do this alone and i am good at making excuses. things like : - Im too busy
- I was sick
- Im too sore
- I just couldnt get there
- Its not my fault i ate the cake, it was a birthday party
- They made me have a beer
- It was raining
I have been doing well, i was going to the gym and working out, i was at least getting 3 days in, which equates to 3 hours a week exercising. Of course i was also chatting and socialising and thoroughly enjoying it........ which means, no weight loss! To be honest i was 60 per cent committed . When i talked to the trainers they were giving me a hundred reasons why i wasn't losing weight, maybe it was my food intake, in which i replied “ nope that has been great, I'm doing really well” and in my head i was saying “except for last nights takeaways and the wine i consumed on Friday, oh and those donuts the other day, oh and the lunches at cafes everyday” Its taking the time to actually listen to yourself, the excuses you make and they were flying out of my mouth before i have time to even think what i was saying. I came to realise i needed help, so i hired a personal trianer. I even think i chose my Pt because i thought i could push her over, make her bend to my will and at the start i guess i was winning. I started to use those famous excuses that came so naturally to me. Then one day she told me she was on the verge of Firing me! ME ! I couldn't believe it, how could anyone even think of firing me, i mean dosent she know who i was! I have thousands of followers! people love me! ( lets hear it Pauline.....blah blah blah) I was so blown away ! She said “ Im not wasting my time when your not putting in the effort, i dont want to hear all your excuses! Buck up or ship out was what she was basically saying! I went home pissed, no one in their right mind would even think about firing me, i pay her to put up with my shit! Anyway after a day of being mad i realised that she was right, why should she put up with me when i am not even putting in the effort she is. Why should she pull me along unwillingly and what am i doing! I am Why waste all this money if i am not committed. Once the realisation came something clicked and i think i changed my focus and everything has been easier because i have committed to my commitment. dont get me wrong there are a few excuses popping out but i am going to the gym everyday and if i miss a day i make it up. so watch this space................. this week i have been working on running (yes me ) and today i ran 7 minutes! (yes i ran, i know, totally insane) Loving it!!
Life can become very busy with work, family, friends and activities for most of us and if you are like me the rushing from one thing to another can soon feel overwhelming. I noticed recently that all I seemed to be doing was rush.
So during this past month, I have been trying to slow things down and be a little more organised – as opposed to the organised chaos my husband accuses me of.
So with the help of Google calendar I planned each week: gym, work, housework and of course the things I love to do. Google calendar is great because I can access it anywhere and it is really easy to use.
My first week was something of a disaster as not only did I not stay on task, I actually forgot a meeting when I decided to have a sick day and didn’t check my calendar.
So for the next two weeks I added everything I needed to do and by the end of the weekhad completed everything with time to spare. For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t have to waste a glorious Saturday morning finishing up work.
Three weekends in a row I have managed to stay away from my computer; no emails, no following up leads, no looking for new business. I simply stayed home with my family and played.
This extra time gave me the opportunity to stop and look at my home and discover the running colour theme is brown. I have no idea how this happened but it has. Brown has taken over. Our wooden furniture is brown, our curtains are an assortment of browns, our carpet is light tawny brown.
Brown brown, brown - I can tell you I am so over brown. All of this spurred me into action – make sure you check out the column next month and see just what I have been up to, using my new found organisation to give the house a makeover.
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